On donkeys and zebras and love.....

 The shocking thing here is not that there are donkeys in my backyard wearing zebra outfits.

No, the shocking thing is that I put up with this nonsense at all.

The fact that we have in our possession two donkeys (the first one was lonely by himself), not to mention two donkeys wearing risqué winter outerwear, is a clear physical manifestation that I will do everything within my power to keep the Love of my life happy and content.

 

What the love of trail running looks like in January

12 Degrees

The Perfect Coffee Mug

The perfect coffee mug* has several inherent, compulsory characteristics, of which bound together synergistically as a whole, offer up the perfect presentation of coffee.

Exterior Color:

Red but not too red. Must be a warm red but not a hot red. Not a flashy red but a confident red. It must be an energizing red yet not a nervous red.

The red color must be consistent over the entire mug including the base and handle.

The red must end distinctly at the appropriate line on the mug’s lip. See “interior color”.

Interior Color:

White but not too white. Creamy yet not cloudy. Must provide a complementary contrast to the rich illustrative visual disposition of the coffee.

The interior color transition at the mug’s lip to the exterior color is critical. The delineation must be crisp yet the creamy white must not violate the exterior mug color nor overstep its domestic boundaries. There must be a harmonizing simultaneity.

Lip:

The lip can destroy an otherwise well-conceived vessel. The lip must present the decoction in a confident yet humble manner and thus must flower lightly at point of presentation yet not dilute or spread thin the jamoca thereby diminishing the pleasure.

Shape:

Cylindered, confident, straight-walled, and uniform. Must feel substantial yet not overbearing – we do not wish to lift weights first thing in the morning. The handle brings the physical and practical application to fruition. It must be uniform in interior space, accommodating of the 4 fingers necessary for stability, and it must not pinch or over-weight any one finger. The overall balance is critical in that we do not desire a quick shift of momentum at a duplicitous tipping point as the mug modulates from the vertical to horizontal stages. (As opposed to mugs with weighted bases that are fine for table-sitting yet undermine the actual existential partaking of the peaberry drug.)

Graphics and Lettering:

Undesirable with one exception: the mug may read “Evista raloxifene HCI”**. Should you have in your possession a mug with said lettering or should you discover such a mug***, you have now come into the possession of The Perfect Coffee Mug****. You have now reached the pinnacle of self-actualization emancipating your morning upsurge in great amity and equanimity as you drink the life-sustaining nectar and wax sagaciously regarding the perfect trifecta of codependency.

*The perfect coffee mug in this elucidation refers to a mug used in the early morning for the day’s first presentation of coffee. This mug differs greatly from a mug used mid-morning or early afternoon and is entirely different than the late-day or evening coffee imbibing experience.

**Reduces the risk of invasive breast cancer in women. Certainly an advocacy we can all support as a world without breasts is a barren world lacking in nurture and comfort for all.

***While it was a blessing to obtain my Perfect Coffee Mug early in life, it is likely that I may never be so fortunate again. While working in her role as a P.A.C. many years ago, my wife Jill acquired the mug from a pharmaceutical drug rep. As Jill is no longer in the medical field and as most drug reps have been banned from proselytizing in the hospitals, I am forced to cherish my mug and to keep it in a controlled laboratory setting while cleansing it but once a year with freshly blossomed daisy petals and purified spring water.

****Tragically, my Perfect Coffee Mugs has obtained several physical indications of injustice as the lip has been chipped in several places. This, perhaps, is indicative of a lack of appreciation from others in the household. It is imperative that we each assume our part in “The Perfect Coffee Mug Awareness Campaign”.

On New Year's Resolutions

Regarding New Year’s resolutions: I think they are lame. Or, rather, I think the illusory, dreamy, and frail milieu in which many offer up their resolutions are lame.

Please understand I am a principled man with a multi-year goal-set underwritten by a pragmatic action plan.

Yet, with each passing year, I become more aware of the pressing tension between that which I control and that which I do not. And I am finding that the aspects of life that I cannot control are heavily weighted. In fact, perhaps the only aspect of life that I can control is my attitude. Charles Swindoll says it best,

 The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company ... a church ... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past ... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude ... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you ... we are in charge of our Attitude.

Thus, my first point regarding resolutions is that we tend to gauge our resolutions on the basis of happiness; that is, the ideology that our resolutions are the ticket to future peace and contentment. Thus, our expectations are false in that if we have not found peace and contentment in our current circumstances, we will not do so in future circumstances.

Next, it seems that if we are truly honest with ourselves, our resolutions tend to be tainted by trepidations of cultural relevance. In other words, we tend to try to shape ourselves based on the perceived expectations of our culture or contemporary peer group. We want to eat better, not because we acknowledge our bodies as a Temple, but because we hope to be affirmed for our Beach Body. We vow to exercise, not to have more energy and to sleep well at night, but to look younger in an effort to validate ourselves among work colleagues. We aspire to the bigger house and the new car in an effort to impress a group of people who don’t even like us.

Thus, our resolutions have little staying power in terms of rousing us to take meaningful steps forward because the resolutions are of no life-impacting consequence.

Lastly, it seems to me that many approach their resolutions much like some who come to me for personal financial counseling. They plop down in chairs in front of my desk with the unspoken expectation, “Here we are! Fix us!” This is despite a decade of poor financial decisions, a lack of understanding of current financial standing, and no idea as to future dreams or goals.

In the same way, the resolution, just like the counselor, can be approached as the crutch or the savior rather than the quantified reality of what needs to be aspired too. By pronouncing the “resolution” to lose weight, we allow ourselves to feel good in taking a perceived action step, however false, and are now able to compartmentalize the remaining aspects of the decision (the painful self-sacrifice) into non-action. Rather than laying out a disciplined life-style agenda such as eating, exercising, time management, budgeting, goal setting and others, we stop at the feel-good resolution stage and we obligate ourselves to failure as defined by inaction.

In summary, please don’t share what you hope to accomplish in 2011. Tell us what you did today. Or perhaps as my wife shared with me, rather than choosing what we want to resolve this year, why don’t we ask God what He wants us to resolve this year?

(Disclosure: The author just purchased P90X from Beach Body! Yet, in 2010, I have lost 12 pounds by rising at 5:30 am to trail run with my wife, by eating a spinach salad for breakfast and oatmeal/ yogurt for lunch, and be setting tangible goals (such as a 25k trail challenge in April http://www.hikerun.com/) and by adhering to training plans to achieve those goals. The P90x gives me a 90 day jolt of motivation, structure, and variety to help me stay fresh and perhaps even help me impress a bunch of people (who don’t like me) with my beach abs! ha)